Scrambled by an outage and the 21st-century lawn dart

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Now that's safe scootin'. (Portland Bureau of Transporation photo)

So how did you fare through the Great Internet Outage of September 13 to 16?

I was on a video session, and had just marvelled at the clarity and speed of our connection. It was like we were right in front of each other.

This online business will work, I thought, my anxiety quelling just a smidgen. And then it froze.

“I lost you… you’re frozen. Are you there? Can you hear me?”

Nothing.

And it would be nothing for days. Despite my analog childhood, I sought out pockets of connectivity immediately. It took me a moment to remember the dusty phone in the shop connected to the landline we still pay an absurd fee to have every month.

“For moments like these”, I thought as I manually dialed a phone number, hoping the thick layer of sawdust hadn’t plugged any of the keys. It worked. I left a message. Excellent.

Once every urgent and not-urgent communication was had, I reverted to my old ways.

I got into my studio. I started to create. I watched a DVD. I read a book.

For my teenage children it was a struggle, a relief, and a quaint novelty to be disconnected. Shows were downloaded, more DVDs were watched, games were also played and there were fish to be had in the Tlell River.

Even when I cracked and tracked down the Starlink system I bought for the music festival and am still accidentally paying for, my son simply shrugged his shoulders and said he was having too much fun fishing. Parenting win!

No more than half an hour later, a bad spill off his e-scooter sent him to the ER with a sizable gash in his shin.

“Well that took a turn,” I thought, shakily catching my breath. Time for a…

Public Service Announcement

Yes, when I was a kid , it was okay to ride your bike around the neighbourhood with no helmet, and only a few of us died as a result.

Somehow, these new e-scooters are enjoying similar treatment. Like lawn darts, it’s almost funny how long it took before anyone acknowledged it was dangerous having kids throw heavily weighted metal darts towards each other!

We underestimate the danger of the e-scooter. Helmets are the bare minimum, along with visibility devices. 

Let’s make sure we all normalize that bare minimum and discourage any doubling before someone really gets hurt.

I digress. In this column I ask you, how did you experience the blackout? 

I believe many of us felt a sense of relief for a moment, not having to do all the things. But soon that got old, cash machines emptied, and the rest of the world raced on without us.

Lack of cell service for large areas of Haida Gwaii was highlighted once again.

Starlink helped, but I guess I feel moderately uneasy about all my data going through the machinery of a multi-billionaire of dubious moral integrity and exponentially expanding wealth.

But that’s a topic for another column.