Dear Annie,
I’m a working parent. I work full time. I have four kids. My spouse stays home all day parenting while I’m working at a fast-paced job. When I get home I’m exhausted, and try to co-parent at dinner, playtime and bedtime.
I get through those and try to do some house chores. And then I fall into bed like a rock, wake up, and do it all again tomorrow.
On weekends I want to give my spouse some time away from the kids, because parenting all week is taxing too! But I don’t feel like I have any time to just be me.
My friendships have seemingly disintegrated over the years of becoming a parent and I’m just stuck in this never-ending loop of mundane day-to-day tasks.
Is there a way to find joy in these days?
Unbalanced
Dear Unbalanced,
Thank you for sharing your heartfelt letter. It sounds like you are carrying a tremendous load, and it’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed.
Balancing a demanding job, parenting, and maintaining a household is no small feat, and it’s clear that you are doing your best to support your family.
First, it’s important to acknowledge the incredible effort you are putting in every day. Both you and your spouse are working hard in different ways, and it’s okay to feel exhausted. It’s also okay to seek moments of joy and fulfillment amidst the chaos.
Here are a few suggestions that might help you find some balance and joy:
1. Prioritize Self-Care
Even small moments of self-care can make a big difference. Whether it’s a quiet cup of coffee in the morning before the family rouses, a short walk, or a few minutes of meditation, try to carve out a little time each day just for you.
2. Communicate with Your Spouse
Have an open conversation with your spouse about how you’re feeling. Maybe you can find ways to support each other better, like sharing chores differently or scheduling some alone time for both of you.
3. Reconnect with Friends
Friendships are important for your well-being. Try to reconnect with friends, even if it’s just a quick chat or a virtual coffee date. Social connections can provide a much-needed emotional boost.
4. Find Joy in Small Moments
Look for joy in the little things. A smile from your child, a shared laugh with your spouse, or a moment of peace can all be sources of happiness.
5. Seek Support
Don’t hesitate to seek support from family, friends, or even a professional counsellor. Sometimes, talking to someone can provide new perspectives and solutions.
Remember, you are not alone in feeling this way, and it’s okay to ask for help. Finding joy in the everyday moments can be challenging, but with a little effort and support, it is possible.
Take care of yourself and know that you are doing an amazing job,
Annie