I recently read an article in The New York Times by fellow pet lover Judith Newman about her dog Monty that resonated with me. The article’s heading is what drew me in. It reads, “The feeding and care instructions we leave say as much about ourselves as they do about our furry companions.”
Well, it so happens that is exactly what I do.
Judith left four pages of instructions for the golden retriever named Monty. Judith said that was perfectly reasonable. “He thinks his real name is ‘What do you have in your mouth?’” she wrote. “So please check frequently or you will end up spending the night with Monty in the E.R.” Judith notes that she “racked up thousands of dollars in medical bills because of his passion for eating my underwear.”
The last time we left Boyz, I left nearly two pages of instructions. I laughed and laughed at all the comments Judith gathered. Another prize quote was, “Dogs need to hear Frank Sinatra to poop,” or “My boy will not get out of bed in the morning unless you say, ‘Good morning, Mr. President.’”
Indeed, our canine friends have quirky habits.
Boyz Jones will not poop if you are watching and hates to have his bum wiped if he has a goopy one. Now that he has reached his senior years, he only has girly pees, not lifting his leg but squatting like a female canine. And he does not walk or run anymore, but he will mosey along.
Boyz does not like crows but loves cat poop. He likes to eat grass but hates vegetables. Fish juice left over from our canned sockeye is a major treat for this guy. The jar is left cleaned and spotless after he is done with it.
And what about fireworks? Thunder? The power outages? One Halloween when our neighbour shot off fireworks, he bolted down the hallway and we could not find Boyz. When he was finally located, he was in the shower behind the curtain. He was trembling so much that it scared us. During the winter when the power goes out, so too does the fire alarm, a strange fading digital sound. So I built him a shelter under my desk.
As Judith further noted, “Rational or not, elaborate pet instructions are clearly a projection of our love. We owe our pets and adore them, even when they are diabolical.”
One dog owner’s instructions, later shared by a pet sitter on TikTok, were ominous: “Jasper can’t be trusted. Good luck.”
Dogs may need medication as they age to ease pain and anxiety. Our Boyz takes arthritis medicine, which I have nicknamed his zoom juice. Instructions are important here. One time I thought I missed his mouth and administered another dose. When we went to the backyard to play, he began running in circles. He circled the plum tree and smokehouse about five times. He switched directions twice. It was funny but a bit worrisome.
Instructions might seem hefty at times, but he is my best friend. Now that he is 15 human years old, you would think he is slowing down. He is, but not at dinner time. He comes to sit at my feet and stares until I make a move.
With age comes the slow decline of energy. I feel it and so does my Boyz. We think he is going deaf. Perhaps he is practising his option of selective hearing. Whatever the case, we keep a close eye on our prized furry friend. I hope you do too.
