Dear Annie,
My partner and I are eagerly awaiting the arrival of our first child this winter. We’ve spent many years trying to conceive and the anticipation to meet our baby is building! We are both so excited.
For the most part people are really supportive and happy for us, but there are a few friends with young kids who just can’t say anything nice. It’s like all they have to talk about is how awful it’s going to be as new parents: no sleep, overstimulated, no time for ourselves anymore, and on and on.
I get it — life is going to change. But I just feel like they’re trying to hurt us with their unkind words. We are happy with our decision to become parents, that’s certain. I want to know how to manage these unwanted comments. Any ideas?
Signed,
Curbing Criticism
Dear Curbing Criticism,
Congratulations on the upcoming arrival of your baby! Your excitement and joy are truly wonderful to hear, especially after the journey you’ve been through to get to this point.
It’s understandable that you might feel disheartened by the comments from some friends. It’s common for people to project their own experiences and anxieties onto others, and it sounds like they might be expressing their own fears rather than genuinely trying to dampen your excitement.
To manage these unwanted comments, it might help to gently steer conversations towards positive aspects or to share what you’re looking forward to. You could also consider setting boundaries by letting them know that while you appreciate their concern, you’re focusing on the positive aspects of this new chapter.
Another way to add a constructive twist may be to ask them what they would do differently if they could go back in time and start again, or what supports they would suggest setting up to ease some of the stressors they have experienced as parents.
Remember, every parent’s journey is unique and your experience will be shaped by the love and care you bring into it. Stay positive and cherish this special time as you prepare for your new arrival.
Big hugs,
Annie
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