Jeanne d’Arc once said, “A campfire is nature’s television.” And you know what? For once, I agree with her. Fire isn’t just a word to describe that mixed tape I recorded back in ’96, it’s also the heartbeat of any respectable campsite. You can warm yourself by it after a day of getting rained on, you can cook over it after a day of getting rained on, and you can enjoy the acrid, biting smoke that stings every square millimetre of your paranasal orifices while following you around no matter where you sit, as if it’s possessed by some haunting demonic smoke spirit hellbent on eliminating your ability to see or smell ever again… after a day of getting rained on.
Most of the local camping areas on Haida Gwaii are excellent campfire locales, each with its own flavour of campfire style and vibe. Let’s look at a few of them and highlight what makes them unique.
Here in Tlell, the Misty Meadows campsite offers campfires very conducive to nights of charades. The campfires at Misty Meadows tend to be truculent melees of spark and flame, spewing long tendrils of wispy spruce smoke at the people huddled around them. Long Island iced teas are a great accessory to a Misty Meadows campfire.
The Agate and North Beach campsites are home to the sputtering, smouldering campfires of the North Beach ecosystem. Years and years of excessive patchouli oil use in the area has caused this nasty substance to leach into the surrounding firewood, causing smoky fires with low flamage. If you listen closely to campfires within this zone, you will hear Bob Dylan singing any one of his four songs.
Going inland, we have Papa John’s campsite. This wet, soggy camping destination is often referred to as the Dagobah system of Haida Gwaii because, like the Dagobah system of film, you could lose a spaceship easily in any of its puddles. People often bring their own firewood to this campsite, as you would need an ocean tanker full of jet fuel to light any piece of wood on fire within a 10-km radius. Campfires at Papa John’s have been known to exceed 10 m in length and like to have cards played around them.
In Port Clements, we have the beautiful Sunset Park campground, with sunset-soaked campfires and purifyingly sweet, pine-smelling smoke. These campfires will lull you into an undeniable sense of adventure, while friendly, flickering flames embolden you to dream beyond the infinite. The dull roar of downtown Port Clements is only a fleeting reminder of the life you once led—a chaotic mess of bad choices and horrendous diets. Your mind relaxes, lost in the void of your own timeless existence while your fingers caress the Lucky Lager so familiarly nestled in the calluses of your one good hand. “Not tonight,” you whisper to no one. “Not tonight…” Sunset Park campfires like chicken breasts grilled over them.
And finally, Keegan Bay. Keegan Bay campfires are beacons for the unholy. They belch black rancid smoke and scream at the night. It’s often been said that you should always bring a priest with you when attending a Keegan Bay campfire. I say bring two. Although the wood is dry and the kindling spirited, the embers of such fires brood well into the early hours of the following day, glowing with the reminder of the orgy of opulence unleashed upon the world the night before. Keegan Bay campfires like hot dogs and s’mores.
No matter where you are this camping season, a campfire is a sure way to add a boatload of authenticity to your camping experience. Memories will undoubtedly be forged around the façade of flames while white rabbits are deployed to save one’s senses. Be safe, be responsible, and most importantly, bring booze.
