Anxiety isn’t just a really clever Scrabble word—it’s also a serious condition that affects many people here on Haida Gwaii and around the world. Anxiety can manifest itself in many different ways, and its crippling effects can have extremely negative implications not just for those who suffer from it but also for the people who care about them, which is why it’s probably a good idea to poke a bit of fun at it. So, screw you, Anxiety!
Most people will experience some form of anxiety in their lifetime—some more than others. But did you know there are over 16 million different kinds of anxiety? Neither did I, until I just made that up.
Some common forms of anxiety include:
Test anxiety: That feeling of dread before writing a test or answering questions about yourself on a first date.
Boss anxiety (my personal demon): When you get all nervous because your boss is around, and you somehow manage to make all your worst mistakes exactly when they’re watching.
Public speaking anxiety: A classic fear many of us share, closely related to “I hope no one walks into the bathroom while I’m cleaning up my pube-fro” anxiety.
But there are also anxieties that are unique to Haida Gwaii. Here are just a few:
BC Ferries anxiety: The panic of wondering whether you’ll make it to the ferry lineup in time—only to wait two hours before boarding anyway.
Storm day anxiety: That sinking feeling when a big storm is coming, and you’re not sure if a tree will fall across the road and trap you away from home.
Jags anxiety: Unique to Parks Canada workers, this one strikes every twenty minutes or so. The only cure? A walk down the road to Jags.
Erosion-from-the-constant-march-to-Jags anxiety: A growing fear that the entire bank from the Parks Canada offices to Jags will eventually collapse into the ocean due to the relentless foot traffic.
Ha’waa anxiety: When you accidentally say “Thank you” instead of “Ha’waa,” and everyone looks at you like you’re some sort of bacteria.
Price-of-things anxiety: When you go to buy something you thought was nine dollars, but suddenly you’re considering a second mortgage—and whatever you bought breaks the moment you get it home.
Familiarity anxiety: The bittersweet cost of life on Haida Gwaii, where you’re never truly a stranger. You constantly run into people you sort of know—just enough to wonder whether you should wave, say hello, or pretend to look intensely at something just out of their line of sight. Yikes.
If you’ve ever experienced any of these types of anxiety, don’t worry—it’s quite normal. Anxiety is just a part of life: a cruel, sadistic part of life, but a part of life nonetheless.
The best way to deal with anxiety? Try to make friends with it. Spend some time with it and get to know it a little better. Maybe play some Scrabble with it, or take it for a walk on the beach. Either way, anxiety—like all of us—is just trying to get through another winter.