On clear nights, I like to stare up at the stars and wonder about all the incredible cosmic phenomena happening out there. From small celestial debris jettisoning around to supernovas, quasars, and massive black holes—the universe is a busy but horrifyingly violent place. It’s cool to wonder about where it all came from and where it’s all headed. Our universe is full of mystery and mayhem, and we will probably never know the reasons for its existence. But we do have an idea of where it’s headed, thanks to some very smart people. And let me tell you, it makes climate change seem like a bit of spilled soy milk in comparison.
Let’s say that somehow, here on Earth, we all wise up and start treating the planet like it’s the only home we will ever know. Perhaps we slow down and even reverse the rate of environmental catastrophe, realize the utter nonsense that is war, and start treating all species with dignity and decorum. That would be awesome. But it would still only delay the inevitable destruction of not only our planet but also of all life. And not just here on Earth but all life everywhere throughout the universe.
You see, the universe is not meant to exist forever—at least not as we know it and certainly not as an arena that would support any kind of life. At some point, even if our planet survives the countless meteor strikes and other natural anomalies that threaten to wipe us out, our sun will ultimately explode into a huge supernova that will obliterate our solar system—and not idling your car in the BC Ferries lineup isn’t going to change that.
But let’s suppose that more very smart people figure out a way to harness the true power of nature and create a way of saving us from this fiery end by inventing a form of travel that takes us far away from here to another little Hamlet of the universe where we can once again flourish and get back to concentrating on what to do about all these microplastics. Well, they might want to worry about something else—something much more terrifying.
Our universe is evolving into a high-entropy state or a state of high disorder. Eventually, all the light in the universe will disappear, and we will be left with only black holes floating around in near-infinite emptiness. No planets, no stars, no galaxies. Nothing. Changing traditional light bulbs to LED lights will hardly matter at this point. In fact, eventual photon decay in 10¹⁸ years will make that front porch light obsolete anyway (and our hydro bills much more palatable).
Conceivably, our network of very smart people might develop the technology to survive even in this environment. Perhaps we will nourish our purely cerebral existence with the energy of dreams and memories. It is quite feasible that we will harness dark energy and find new places to live within the untapped vastness of the as-yet unfurled dimensions of dark matter. Could we then get back to the task of exchanging all of our plastic straws for paper ones?
Not a chance. For even then, our universe will be trying to permanently stamp us out. In 10¹⁰⁰⁰⁰⁰⁰⁰⁰⁰ years (give or take), our universe will reach its final energy state, and the resulting vacuum will be a perfect place for a new quantum fluctuation, and we can start a new universe all over again. And in 14.5 billion years from then, we can all rethink our development from agrarian societies to industrialized ones and go to bed feeling a little bit better about everything.
So the next time someone gives you the gears about drinking coffee that isn’t a product of fair trade or winds you up over not composting, just tell them to read this column and maybe take a chill pill. It’s gonna be all lights out eventually, no matter if you wear natural fibres or not.