Dear Annie,
I’m thinking of leaving my husband. We started dating before the pandemic, then grew closer during. Together we have built a life together, but have been drifting apart these past few years.
I want to live a life of adventure. I want to go kayaking and hiking and camping on weekends and vacations, and all he talks about is settling down and working on the house and, most importantly, having a family. We do have a family, of rad friends and their kiddos, and lots of great support, but I don’t want to have kids myself. As much as he says he’s okay without kids, I think that’s not true for him, and his desire for a family is driving us apart.
I love him, and what we’ve built together, but I’m ready for a divorce. How do I even start that conversation?
Daring to Dream
Dear Daring to Dream,
It sounds like you’re navigating a difficult and deeply personal decision about your marriage. It’s clear from your words that you’ve cherished the journey you and your husband have been on together, from dating to building a life during challenging times. It’s also evident that your desires and dreams for the future have evolved, and that’s completely natural.
Wanting a life filled with adventure, surrounded by nature and the freedom to explore is a beautiful goal. It speaks to your sense of self-discovery and the pursuit of experiences that bring you joy and fulfillment. It’s important to honor those aspirations.
Conversations about potentially ending a marriage are undoubtedly daunting. They involve emotions, hopes, and shared history. Starting that conversation requires courage and honesty, both with yourself and with your husband. It might be helpful to find a quiet moment where you both can talk openly and calmly about your feelings and the direction you see your lives taking.
Remember, love isn’t always about staying together no matter what; it’s also about supporting each other’s growth and happiness, even if that means paths diverge. Your love for each other and the life you’ve built together will always be a part of your story, regardless of the outcome.
Seeking support from friends, family, or even a counsellor can also provide clarity and perspective as you navigate this chapter in your life. Ultimately, trust yourself and your instincts. Your happiness matters, and taking steps towards a life that aligns with your dreams is a brave and worthy endeavour.
Wishing you strength and clarity as you move forward with compassion and love, both for yourself and for your husband.
Big hugs,
Annie
Looking for advice? Annie answers your questions about anything and everything, anonymously and with love. Send a question to [email protected].